You have decided that divorce is for the best. Now you are trying to survive as you navigate the choppy waters of the divorce transition. You are scared, confused, struggling. You can’t quite picture the idea of stepping ashore. You feel weighed down by worry and doubt. Perhaps this is because you have an overstuffed suitcase.
In this article, I am going to discuss the difficulties that arise during your divorce transition journey–through an analogy I call the “suitcase metaphor.” It tells a story about what is stopping you from being your best self–and how a divorce coach can help you to achieve your goals.
The hope I have for my readers is that by the time you have finished reading you will walk away with some valuable ideas for how to navigate the turbulent water of your divorce transition journey.
What’s in Your Suitcase?
A metaphor I love here is the suitcase analogy.
Working as an educator for the last 30 years, I have frequently had my students participate in this exercise. I tell them to imagine they are packing a suitcase for a long trip. And that they are only allowed to take 3 items. They will choose items I would never even think to include! And their answers tell me so much about their family life, about their personalities, and about what matters most to them.
When I ask the same question to my divorce clients, their answers are not so different.
The suitcase symbolizes our identities, values, and beliefs. It also allows us to think about what we desire and where we are headed. We may discover that the suitcase has become heavy–and difficult to carry. This can make the divorce transition difficult. Perhaps we forgot some precious memories we carefully packed away a long time ago. Or we realize our current suitcase is too full to fit everything we want to take on our life’s journey.
A Divorce Coach Can Help You See Things More Clearly
Of course, the suitcase is just a metaphor. As we navigate the divorce transition, we may need a thinking partner who can help us to stop and think about what we should and should not pack.
Is our life’s journey going in the direction we want it to? Do we need to rethink our packing choices? What can stay in our suitcase and what needs to be discarded? Did we pack everything we need to survive and be happy?
While a friend or family member can support, recommend, and give their opinion with your best interest at heart– a divorce coach is a trained professional who can help you to become strong, self-supportive, and resilient.
Traveling Through Divorce Transition Together
As a coach, I travel with you on your divorce transition journey. Below are the stages for my coaching model as we travel together:
- Check-In: Do you want to check in your suitcase?
- Destination: Having checked in your suitcase, let’s define the goal of our divorce transition journey.
- Identity: What is the story of your suitcase? What is it carrying inside?
- Capacity, Capability, and Reality: What is the capacity of your suitcase? What are its capabilities? Where is your suitcase now?
- Action, moving forward: What action do you need to take to reach your goal?
A divorce coach is focused on where you are and where you want to be
Unlike therapists, who are concerned with the past and your childhood, a divorce coach is concerned with where you are and where you want to be.
Before you even meet for the 1st time, a good divorce coach will ask you 3 questions:
- Can you identify 3 things you want for your personal life?
- What obstacles or challenges do you believe have kept you from achieving these 3 things?
- How will you feel and what positive results will you enjoy when you actually accomplish these things?
Our First Session
In our first, I will ask, “Do you want to check in your suitcase?” We will figure out where you are in the divorce transition process and get to know each other better. We will clarify what a divorce coach is– and how I can help.
We will also look at your expectations and what you hope to get out of divorce coaching. You will also be free to ask me any questions you like. This will help you to decide if you want to pick up your suitcase and navigate the divorce transition toward divorce recovery.
It is Your Suitcase
We will not lose sight of the fact that the suitcase is YOURS! The spotlight will be kept on you. Our sessions will consist of discussing a plan to get your suitcase from where it is now to where you want it to be. You will decide where to take it and what is in it. I am simply there as a thinking partner to help you along your divorce transition journey.
Everything is said in complete confidence–what is said during our sessions will stay between me and you.
Moshe is a Divorce Coach Who Can Help
I am a Certified Divorce Coach and Parenting Coach. Through 30 years of educating, I have worked with countless families to get over one of the toughest periods of their lives. I have seen that, when a divorce transition is not managed well, it can have a devastating effect on a family. That is what I am here to resolve.
Together, we can work to achieve the best outcome for you and your family. Together can can traverse the seas of your divorce transition towards your divorce recovery.
It’s Time to Start Your Journey
The rough seas along your journey are difficult to navigate alone–and you don’t have to.
Contact me for a free, 45-minute “discovery” session at (240) 286-5487 or click the button below!