First, there’s Christmas or Hannukah. Then there’s New Year’s. Then, there’s tax return season. These are supposed to be times of joy and family, and togetherness. But for many, they are also times of great stress, especially if you are already in a strained marriage. So it makes sense that so many people start thinking about divorce around this time of year.
You likely know people who have had nasty divorces: Court battles, financial disagreements, lots of lawyer involvement, fighting over split-custody agreements…
But divorce does not have to be anywhere near as tough as we often see in some of those extreme, nasty cases. That is why it is important to promote awareness that divorce does not have to involve nasty court battles and disagreements.
January 21st is “National Conscious Uncoupling Day.”
It is meant to promote awareness that divorce does not have to be high-conflict and involve lots of fighting and court battles.
And it makes sense that there would be a day dedicated to conscious uncoupling in a country where the divorce rate is nearly 50%.
Regardless of this statistic, change is inevitable when we marry and grow as individuals. Poor communication, bad choices, and incompatibility all lead us in directions that sadly might not include our partner. Divorce is an unfortunate reality that many of us face. But it does not have to be ugly.
What is Conscious Uncoupling?
Conscious uncoupling is a term popularized by relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas. Conscious uncoupling refers to the process of ending a relationship in a mindful and respectful manner. It is a holistic approach to separation that focuses on the emotional and spiritual aspects of the relationship, rather than just the legal and practical aspects.
The goal of conscious uncoupling is to separate with as little collateral damage as possible. Rather than being argumentative and fixating on the legal and financial aspects of divorce, conscious uncoupling is all about both parties putting the kids first, divorcing amicably, and moving forward in a healthy and healing way.
This approach emphasizes the importance of self-care, self-compassion, and emotional intelligence during the process of separation, in order to minimize hurt and help both individuals to grow and heal.
What is Conscious Uncoupling Day?
National Conscious Uncoupling Day is not a holiday meant to support the notion of divorce. But rather, to raise awareness about what conscious uncoupling is and why it is a healthier, more positive alternative than court battles.
It emphasizes the value of amicable divorce and stresses alternatives such as mediation over court battles.
Rather than spend a lot of money on expensive lawyers, Conscious Uncoupling Day aims to focus on preventing the negative aspects of divorce and putting your kids first.
History of Conscious Uncoupling Day
Uncoupling Day was established by Kings Law Firm Attorneys at Law, Inc. in November 2020. Many divorces happen around this time of year, with the holidays and tax return season.
With that in mind, Kings Law Firm attempted to promote the value of conscious uncoupling; a way to maintain mutual respect between partners and prioritize the needs of their children.
By “celebrating” this day, we can promote alternatives like mediation, collaborative divorce, and do-it-yourself divorce.
Mediation
Divorce mediation is an effective alternative to court battles. It involves a neutral, third party helping a separating couple to make tough decisions, regarding childcare, finances, and the division of responsibilities.
Collaborative Divorce
In collaborative divorce, both parties have a lawyer and cooperate with one another to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.
Do-It-Yourself Divorce
A do-it-yourself divorce is rarely recommended. It involves two amicable parties reaching an agreement with no lawyers involved. After an agreement is reached, papers are simply signed and filed. When in doubt, do-it-yourself divorce is probably not your best bet.
Conscious Uncoupling is Meant to Promote Mutual Respect
It is a way to end a marriage while emphasizing the well-being of your children and mutual respect between both parties.
What is Divorce Coaching and How Can it Help?
Divorce coaches are here to help you walk through the divorce process and coach you along each step of the way. We are experts in divorce and understand how emotional a divorce can be–amicable or not. We don’t tell you what to do, but rather, we walk the path with you, supporting you each step of the way.
Whereas counselors and therapists are often focused on the past and recurring relationship patterns, a divorce coach is concerned with where you are now and where you want to be. It is the job of a divorce coach to help you to turn the emotional side of divorce into the business of divorce.
If you have questions about divorce coaching, conscious uncoupling, or what a divorce coach can do for you, please schedule a free, 45-minute “discovery” session by clicking the button below.
